Act 1
The setting is a study in Portland Place, London. Onstage is Roebuck Ramsden, a rather elderly man of affluence and affairs. Octavius Robinson, a young poet, is announced by the maid. He appears dressed in an elegant suit of mourning. As Ramsden consoles him, the audience learns that Octavius' benefactor and friend, Mr. Whitefield, is dead. Ramsden is confident that he will be the one who will serve as guardian of Whitefield's daughters, Ann and Rhoda, and he expresses his hope that Ann and Octavius will marry. Octavius can think of nothing which would make him happier. As they discuss this matter, Ramsden warns the young poet against the latter's friend, John Tanner, author of the notorious Revolutionist's Handbook. Ramsden prides himself on being an advanced thinker and liberal but regards Tanner as an immoral person. If Ramsden indeed is to be the guardian of the lovely Ann, he will see to it that Tanner is kept away from her.
At this point, the object of Ramsden's disapproval appears. Jack Tanner, an attractive and obviously superior young man, is in a state of near-panic. As he excitedly informs Ramsden, both he and the latter have been appointed by Whitefield's will to act as Ann's guardians. Ironically, Tanner, to whom Ramsden is hopelessly old-fashioned, was responsible for his own appointment, one which he dreads. He had advised Mr. Whitefield to team Ramsden up with a younger man, not dreaming that he would be White-field's choice. He pleads with Ramsden to get him out of this predicament, arguing that Ann is anything but the weak, dutiful young woman. He sees her as willful and hypocritical and declares that she will "commit every crime a respectable woman can." Ramsden himself states emphatically that he will refuse to act as guardian with Tanner. But the younger man prophesies that neither one of them will escape the obligations which have been forced upon them. Octavius is as appalled at Tanner's unflattering description of Ann as an unscrupulous siren as Ramsden is at Tanner's political views. To him she is a goddess, nor can anything that Tanner says convince him that she is not divine. For the naive Octavius, she is the "reality of romance."
Now Ann makes her appearance. Shaw describes her as "perfectly ladylike, graceful, and comely, with ensnaring eyes and hair." What sets her apart from other beautiful women is her abundant vitality. With her is Mrs. Whitefield, her mother, a little woman certainly devoid of such vitality, one who wears an expression of "muddled shrewdness." Playing her role of the dutiful and helpless daughter, Ann listens to Ramsden, who tells her that Tanner and he have been named as joint guardians and trustees of the late Mr. Whitefield's two daughters. Tanner's prophesy is soon justified. Ann will not violate her father's will; both Ramsden, whom she calls "Granny," and Jack must serve.
Ramsden, who had left the stage while Octavius and Jack express their markedly contrasting views of Ann, returns with "terrible news." Octavius' sister Violet is about to become an unmarried mother. All but Tanner are greatly shocked. He declares that the girl should be congratulated on "the fulfillment of her highest purpose and greatest function — to increase, multiply, and replenish the earth." It is Ramsden especially who expresses the conventional attitude: Violet is the victim of "a rascal . . . a libertine, a villain worse than a murderer" who is in their very midst! When he expresses his suspicions of Tanner, whom he describes as "a man of notoriously loose principles," Tanner adroitly points out that suspicion clings to Ramsden as well.
For the first time alone together on the stage, Ann and Jack converse. The audience learns that the two had known each other since childhood and that Jack had once declared his love for her. She does admit that once, when he had pretended to be in love with another girl, she had violated Jack's confidence; she had told the girl that Jack had informed her of the attachment. Tanner states that, as a result of his experience, he has come to believe moral passion to be the only real passion; no romance for him now. The entire episode is replete with interesting Shavian ideas which will be discussed later. What especially is made clear is that Ann indeed is the active one in the love game. As Tanner says, "I never feel safe with you: there is a devilish charm — or no: a subtle interest."
Ramsden and Octavius come back with Miss Ramsden, a hard-headed spinster who is determined that Violet must leave the house at once since she apparently wished to meet her betrayer again. Violet herself enters. She is quite self-possessed and obviously impenitent. When Tanner eloquently voices his approval of her, she turns upon him and vehemently repudiates his compliments. In so doing, Violet is forced to reveal the fact that she has been secretly married and is not a fallen woman at all.
Act 2
The setting is the carriage drive in the park of the house near Richmond. Jack Tanner, dressed in the contemporary costume for motoring, is watching his chauffeur, Henry Straker, who is repairing the automobile. The conversation between the two reveals that Enry (as he is usually called) is one of the new type of servants, one who is quite aware of his superiority in the world of machines. Jack Tanner is undoubtedly right when he wryly observes that the master has become the slave to the car and the chauffeur. Tanner tells Enry that one Mr. Malone, an American gentleman, is driving Octavius down in a new American steam car. Enry expresses his disappointment that he could not have had a race with them but is consoled by the news that both cars will be used for transporting the entire group, which will include Octavius, Violet, Ann, Rhoda, and Jack himself. He is incredulous, however, when he is told that Ann will not ride in Jack's car.
Octavius returns and an amusing colloquy follows when Tanner explains Enry's status as the New Man, a member of the class-conscious engineers. Not disrespectful, the chauffeur is anything but differential. He is aware that he does know more about machines — and women — than does his master.
Left alone with Tanner, Octavius solicits his sympathy. He had proposed to and been rejected by Ann. Jack insists that he has not been rejected at all and that Ann merely is not through playing with him. She is the pursuer, he argues, and Octavius is her marked-out victim. But poor lovesick Octavius rejects this counsel as only another sample of Jack's "eternal shallow cynicism." When Tanner learns that Ann had reproached his friend for not getting his permission to approach her, he pronounces blessings on the two and wishes them happiness. But he adds that Ann is really as free to choose as is Octavius. There follows a disputation on the subject of love as viewed by Tanner and Octavius respectively. When Straker reappears, the conversation shifts to Enry's preoccupation with motor racing.
Octavius gives Jack a note from Rhoda Whitefield, who has written that her elder sister Ann had forbidden her to go on the motor trip with Tanner and even to be in his company at any time on the grounds that he is "not a fit person for a young girl." Octavius sides with Ann, arguing that Jack's views are certainly not proper for the development of a young girl's mind and character.
Ann appears with the news that poor Rhoda cannot join the motoring party because she has one of her headaches. Jack is vastly amused; he has trapped Ann in a lie from which he is sure she cannot extricate herself. But Ann succeeds in doing just that. After sending Octavius to look after his American friend, she explains that she had been only the dutiful daughter carrying out her mother's instructions — another lie, of course. This provides Tanner with the cue for delivering a tirade on the tyranny of mothers and to challenge Ann to show her independence by joining him on a continental motor trip. To his chagrin, she promptly agrees to do so. After all, she explains, no impropriety would be involved, for Jack is her guardian and stands in her father's place.
Mrs. Whitefield arrives, accompanied by Hector Malone, the young American, and followed by Ramsden and Octavius. It is Jack's hope that Mrs. Whitefield will absolutely forbid Ann to go to the Continent with him. He is told that she has not the slightest objection — why should she object? Indeed, Mrs. Whitefield says that she had intended to ask Jack to take Rhoda out for a ride occasionally. So he learns that Ann had lied again. "Abyss beneath abyss of perfidy!" he exclaims. Ann hastily introduces Hector to Jack in order to divert attention from this outburst. In conversation with Tanner and Octavius, Hector reveals his devotion to Violet and is warned that she is a married woman, the identity of her husband unknown. Hector, the soul of chivalry, says that he will respect the lady's wishes but cannot understand why a husband should forbid his wife to reveal his identity. All this leads to a discussion of womanhood and marriage, Tanner as usual voicing unorthodox opinions. Hector asks to have a few words in private with Violet.
Alone on stage, the two exchange kisses, and the audience then learns definitely that they are married. The motivation for their secrecy was the fact that Hector's millionaire father was set on having his son marry a member of the aristocracy, someone with "a handle to her name." Hector urges Violet to let him announce their marriage publicly even if his father disinherits him. But Violet will have none of such "nonsense." Hector must not be romantic about money, she states; she has no intention of facing a struggle and poverty. When Hector says that he can borrow money and then go to work, she is appalled: "Do you want to spoil our marriage?" The young American remains worried about having to live a lie, especially after Jack Tanner had argued that marriage had not ennobled Violet's unknown husband. To Violet, Jack is a hateful beast, but the tolerant Hector is sure that all he needs is the love of a good woman.
Tanner returns with Straker as Violet and her husband leave to inspect the steam car. Jack and Enry discuss the continental trip. In the course of their conversation, the perspicacious chauffeur tells his master that Octavius has no chance of marrying Ann and that it is Jack himself she is after. Tanner is horrified at the thought that he is "the bee, the spider, the marked-down victim" Ann is bent on capturing. Seeking escape, he calls upon Enry to set a new motoring record to get far across the Continent and out of Ann's reach.
Act 3
It is evening, and the setting is that of a natural amphitheater in the Spanish Sierras. A group of about a dozen men recline about a dying campfire, while another serves as lookout on the adjacent rise of ground. These are an international band of brigands dedicated to stopping motor cars and robbing the occupants in order "to secure a more equitable distribution of the wealth." Their leader, a man with a fine voice and ready wit, is Mendoza. His followers include a bullfighter ruined by drink, at least one Frenchman, cockney Englishmen, and Americans. All are in their early thirties, except for one who is dressed like a broken-down English gentleman and who is anywhere from ten to twenty years older than the others; he is described as the respectable member of the group.
While waiting for victims, the brigands resume their evening debates on Anarchists and Social-Democrats. Present are one Anarchist and three Social-Democrats, making possible a lively discussion. But the others describe themselves as gentlemen and Christians. Mendoza presides with wit and skill, controlling the various speakers when they become too intense and excited. The debate is interrupted by the sound of an approaching motor car. The brigands have made the necessary preparations: Nails have been strewn on the road to puncture tires; one brigand stands ready to use his rifle if the nails should fail. They do not. The car is forced to stop, and its occupants, Jack Tanner and his chauffeur, are brought in as prisoners.
Tanner accepts his capture good-naturedly. When Mendoza introduces himself as President of the League of the Sierra and states that he lives by robbing the rich, Jack identifies himself as a gentleman who lives by robbing the poor. Thus a common bond is established between the two. In view of the exchange between Enry Straker and the brigands, it is quite understandable that the chauffeur wonders whether he and his master are enjoying a trip in the mountains or attending a Socialist meeting.
Mendoza, the soul of dignity and courtesy, dismisses his followers and announces that in Spain one puts off business until the next day. All can now relax; there will be no talk of ransom. In response to Tanner's questions and to Enry's occasional remarks, the brigand leader first talks of Socialism and then tells his life story. He, the president, had once been a successful waiter and had been driven to become a brigand by disappointment in love. No, the lady was not an earl's daughter; she was far more attractive than the daughters of the English peerage. Moreover, if she had not been "a woman of the people," he would have scorned her. Alas, she had rejected him because he was a Jew. She had been employed by a Jewish family and had become convinced that Jews considered Gentiles, especially English Gentiles, to be dirty in their habits. When Straker recalls that his sister had once been a cook in a Jewish family, the dramatic coincidence, as Tanner calls it, is revealed. Mendoza's beloved is Louisa, sister of Straker. Mendoza had heard a great deal about Enry, who was Louisa's favorite brother. But Straker is anything but pleased to hear a brigand tell of his love for the girl. At one point, Tanner has to intervene to prevent an attempt at physical violence. Things quiet down and Enry joins the other brigands in sleep. Mendoza and Jack continue their discussion, the brigand revealing his propensity for poetry and for paraphrasing Shakespeare. Tanner solemnly advises him to give up his romantic pose and to renounce Louisa, stating that he is "sacrificing his career to a monomania." But Mendoza will not follow this counsel, for the mountains make one dream of beautiful women; indeed "this is a strange country for dreams."
When Tanner lies down and composes himself for sleep, the brigand reads him an original love lyric addressed to Louisa Straker, but Jack is asleep before he has finished.
It is now the morning after. The brigands are aroused by their sentry's announcement of an approaching automobile accompanied by two armored cars filled with soldiers. Ann, Violet, Hector Malone, Ramsden, and (a bit later) Octavius enter. Ann makes straight for Jack Tanner. Hector tells Jack that she had tracked him at every stopping place — "She is a regular Sherlock Holmes." "The Life Force! I am lost," exclaims the newly found Tanner. Thanks to him, Mendoza and his followers escape arrest. Jack identifies them as his escorts, not his captors. In their respective ways, the brigands manifest their gratitude — all but the Anarchist, who defies the State with folded arms.
Act 4
The setting now is the garden in an expensive and pretentious villa in Granada. Enry Straker enters with an elderly Irishman. The chauffeur had been asked to deliver a note to Hector at the latter's hotel. He was and still is confused by the fact that this stranger had been identified as Hector Malone but had complied with the request to bring him along to the villa when told that "it's all right." Now he learns that the Irishman does not even know Violet Robinson's name. Violet enters, and the Irishman identifies himself as Hector Malone, Sr. (hereafter referred to as Malone to distinguish him from his son, Hector, Jr.). Throughout this first part of the scene, there is an amusing exchange between Enry and Malone on the subject of their respective dialects. Violet apologizes for any rudeness of which the confident Straker may have been guilty: "But what can we do? He is our chauffeur." A man of his mechanical skill is indispensable; all are dependent upon him.
The note had made Malone aware of his son's deep interest in some woman unknown to him; now he is told that Hector wants to marry Violet. He tells her that his son "will not have a rap" from him if his son does so because he has other plans. Malone concedes that Violet is an amiable and excellent young lady but, like his son, too romantic to be concerned with money. And he is staggered when Violet calmly states that she is not that foolish and that Hector must have money. Then he must work for it, Malone retorts. Work! There is no use having money if you have to work — it's nonsense, Violet replies coolly. But she almost loses her control when Malone advises her not to marry on the strength of such a belief. Is not her social position as good as Hector's, she next asks? The father states that his son's social position is exactly what he chooses to buy for him, and he makes it clear that he is dead-set on having Hector marry the daughter of an aristocrat. He concedes that he would not object if his son had chosen to marry a barefooted Irish girl as his own grandmother had been. Under such circumstances, Malone would not have denied the young man financial help since the expenditure involved "social profit." But if Hector married Violet, things would be "just like they are"; that is, he would remain middle class.
When Violet observes that many of her relatives would object to her marrying the grandson of a peasant and adds that there is obviously prejudice on both sides, Malone cannot help respecting her as "a pretty straightforward downright sort of young woman." Yet he remains firm: "I want no middle class properties and no middle class woman for Hector." The subsequent discussion about what the father should do for the son and what Violet could for him is interrupted by Hector's arrival, much to Violet's annoyance since she wanted more time to win over Malone to her point of view. Hector, playing the role of the complete man of honor, is indignant with his father for having opened the letter: "That's disawnerable." But Violet, dreading a scene, urges him to be reasonable, for Malone's name was on the envelope.
As father and son mutely glare at each other, Tanner, Ramsden, Octavius, and Ann come in. Ramsden is solicitous about Violet and Tanner about Hector since both had claimed to be indisposed and thus unable to join the others on a visit to the Alhambra. When Violet asks her husband to introduce his father to the new arrivals, Hector bluntly refuses: "He is no father of mine." She implores the two not to make a scene as the astonished Ann and Octavius withdraw. Violet can only look on "in helpless annoyance as her husband soars to higher and higher moral eminences without the least regard to the old man's millions." Tanner complicates the matter by letting the cat out of the bag. Malone learns that Violet is already married and assumes that his son has been pursuing a married woman. "You've picked up the habit of the British aristocracy, have you?" he almost shouts into his son's ear. So Hector has no alternative but to avow his marriage to Violet. "She's married a beggar," says the crushed Malone. But the son rejects the appellation; he is now a Working Man, having just started to earn his living that very afternoon. He is done with remittances from a man who insults his wife. The romantic Octavius is moved almost to tears by the apparent nobility of Hector's declaration of independence and begs to be allowed to shake his hand. Violet also is on the verge of tears, but not for the same reason. "Oh, don't be an idiot, Tavey," she exclaims in vexation.
When both Tanner and Octavius generously offer to help Hector get a good start, Malone changes his tune, now jealous that anyone but him should assist his son. He urges Hector not to be rash and makes abject apologies to Violet, describing her as just the wife his son wants. So all seems well that has ended well for the newlyweds. But Hector, still presenting himself as the man of high principles, is determined to be independent of his father, who urges Violet to bring the young man to his senses. At this point, he readily accepts her advice to do nothing without consulting her and eagerly gives her a thousand-dollar bill, Hector's "bachelor allowance." As Tanner observes the subservience of this multimillionaire, "one of the master spirits of the age," he wonders whether he will ever be reduced to such a state by a woman. Ramsden states that the sooner he is, the better for him.
After Violet leaves, Malone is elated. "That'll be a grand woman for Hector. I wouldn't exchange her for ten duchesses," he exclaims. In the conversation between Malone, Tanner, and Ramsden, it is revealed that the millionaire's investment in Mendoza, Limited, about which he knows nothing, had brought him to Granada. Jack informs him that Mendoza is a man who is thoroughly commercial and promises to take Malone to him. The Irishman and Ramsden depart. Tanner calls to Octavius, who is walking in the garden with Ann, and tells him that his sister's father-in-law is "a financier of brigands." He hurries after Malone and Ramsden.
Octavius now tries once more to win the hand of the girl he worships. But Ann tells him that she has no voice in the matter because her mother is determined that she will marry Jack. For a moment, Tavy believes that his friend has been false to him in urging him not to marry Ann, but she insists that such is not the case, adding that Jack does not really know his own mind. She then tells Tavy that not only is her mother dead set on her marrying Jack, but the will clearly indicates that her father wished her to do so. Octavius sees all this as proof that Ann is the dutiful, self-sacrificing daughter who will marry a man she does not love. Ann feels a faint impulse of pity for this young romantic, and she does her best to let him down gently. Thus she points out that he would always worship the ground she walked on and she could never live up to his idea of divinity. He would not become disillusioned if she married Jack; so he must remain a sentimental bachelor with his romantic dreams for her sake. Tavy vows that he will kill himself, but Ann tells him that such an act would be unkind. She concedes that Jack has no illusions about her but is sure that, sometimes at least, she will enchant him. No, Tavy must not tell Jack that she wants to marry him; he would run away again. Tavy is shocked. Would Ann marry an unwilling man, he asks incredulously? He is told that there is no such thing as an unwilling man when the woman really goes after him: "The only really simple thing is to go straight for what you want and grab it." Her advice to Tavy is to keep away from women and to be content to dream about them. Still with the best intentions, Ann continues to school Tavy in the subject of women. Violet, she says, is "hard as nails," but she has great respect for the woman who is practical and who gets her own way and does so without making people sentimental about her. Tavy passionately insists that he could never marry a designing woman — not after knowing and loving Ann. Poetic to the last, he admits defeat if not comprehension. Ann pats his cheek as she says goodbye and runs into the villa.
Mrs. Whitefield enters and runs to the weeping Tavy. She learns that, following her mother's wishes, Ann intends to marry Jack. Mrs. Whitefield endeavors to enlighten him, but he cannot believe that Ann would be guilty of deceit. Tanner enters, announces that he had left the two brigands, Mendoza and Malone, together, and then asks Tavy what is the matter. Tavy sadly asks Mrs. Whitefield to tell Jack what she wishes and then leaves. Jack is puzzled, and the mother comments on how all life seems to have become so complicated: "Nothing has been right since that speech Professor Tyndale made at Belfast." (The reference is to Tyndale's famous address before the British Association for the Advancement in Science which was delivered in the early 1870s and in which the physicist declared that there was no reason to believe that mind was separate from matter.) Jack agrees that life has indeed become involved and asks what he can do for her. She states that, whatever her wishes may be, Jack will certainly marry Ann, but he is not to blame the mother. Tanner emphatically replies that he has no intention of marrying Ann. Mrs. Whitefield expresses her hope that the two will marry, for she would like to see her daughter meet her match. Jack knows Ann for what she is, and Jack demonstrates his knowledge by describing Ann as an unscrupulous liar, a coquette, one who bullies women, and a hypocrite. He could stand everything except her "confounded hypocrisy." Mrs. Whitefield readily agrees with him and explains that, fond as she is of Tavy, she does not wish to see him suffer, whereas Jack would take care of himself very well. She adds that he must not think that she does not love Ann, her own flesh and blood, merely because she sees her daughter's faults.
Both Ann and Violet enter, the former saying that she had heard the entire conversation. Violet has come to say her farewells. She tells Jack that the sooner he gets married too, the better. Aware that the trap is closing in on him, he restively remarks that he will probably end up a married man before the day is over. Mrs. Whitefield, in tears at the thought of Violet's departure, accompanies the bride offstage.
Ann is now alone with Tanner once more. Jack bewails the fact that everyone, even Ramsden, now treats him as if his marriage to Ann were a settled matter. Ann placidly remarks that she had not proposed to him and that he need not be married if he did not want to be. But Jack sees himself as a condemned man who has no control over his fate. He explosively denounces marriage as an "apostasy, profanation of my soul, shameful surrender, ignominious capitulation, acceptance of defeat." The sparring match between the two continues in lively fashion as Ann woos the reluctant Tanner, now without dissimulation. From their childhood, she argues, the Life Force had prepared a trap for them. Still Jack protests that he will not marry her. "Oh, you will, you will," she replies. At last he seizes her in his arms, declaring that he does love her and the Life Force enchants him. When he makes one last effort to escape her embrace, she swoons.
Most of the other characters return to the stage — Violet, Octavius, Mrs. Whitefield, Malone, Ramsden, Mendoza, and Straker. All are concerned for the well-being of Ann, who revives sufficiently to announce that Jack has promised to marry her. When Tavy bravely congratulates his friend, Jack tells him that he had not proposed but had been trapped. Ann is relieved when Violet tells her that Jack had said nothing. She appears to faint again but recovers to say that she is now quite happy. Malone is quite impressed with Jack, whom he sees as "a rough wooer," the best sort. All congratulate Jack on his happiness. But in his last speech of any length, he describes his status. He is not a happy man. Both he and Ann have knowingly renounced happiness, freedom, tranquility, and especially "the romantic possibilities of an unknown future." The wedding will be the simplest possible. It will take place three days after their return to England, and it will be in the office of the district superintendent registrar. Violet calls Jack a brute, but Ann looks at him with fond pride and caresses his arm. "Go on talking," she says. "Talking!" exclaims Jack, and universal laughter bursts forth as the play ends.
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